Get rid of this one word if you want to be wildly successful.
So why do I pay so much attention to words. Because words do have power. They have the power to build and the power to destroy. You know this. Have you ever paid someone a compliment and watched their face light up? Why do you think this happened? It's because they heard the words you chose to send them and they believed you. Your positive words of encouragement created a warm feeling in the receiver and that warm feeling built their self confidence. Just as easy as it was for you to build up a person with your words, you can take them down. We have all felt the stinging blow of being insulted or ridiculed by other peoples words.
Words define you and guide you whether you are aware of them or not. They play in your subconscious all the time. But the most important words, more than any that come at you from others, are the ones you tell yourself. The words you tell yourself cannot be escaped. In fact the words you tell yourself are constantly reinforced by you. They be so pervasive that they sneak in during times you least expect them. I have often caught old negative words invading my mind when I am still and in meditation. Of course, when I catch them I immediately cancel and replace*. The thing is, these words you are constantly reinforcing and telling yourself are the ones that shape your core beliefs.
It's very hard to soar to the highest heights when you keep anchoring yourself with debilitating words.
As a coach and mentor, I rely heavily on my skills to listen and observe my clients, then to use that information to help guide them to greater achievement. I work with people who have a good idea where they want to go but need to “fine tune” to get there. One of the things I watch for and listen for in all of my conversations is the natural speech. The words you choose are so telling that you can predict future results based on the context and content of the words you choose.
The word that gets my proverbial goat more than any other out there is the word “Cannot” and it's contraction “Can't”. Maybe there is a time where the word ‘can't' is legitimate, but I honestly can't think of one. From what I have heard, the word is over used and often times it is used to create a deeper resistance to taking action. Whenever I have probed deeper with my clients that have chosen to use this word with me, they were using it as an excuse or a smoke screen to hide a deeper fear or uncertainty. But what they were doing to themselves in the process was killing their chances to be successful.
You tell yourself you can't do this or that and I can almost guarantee you will never get ahead. You will never rise to your full potential. The word ‘can't' becomes your mantra and you are frozen from taking action. The words you tell yourself shape your beliefs and your beliefs cause actions so it only stands to reason if you have told yourself you cannot achieve, then how could you ever get ahead?
Don't believe me? Then ask any successful entrepreneur with staying power what they think of this word. I am willing to bet you will hear the same from all of us, it's just not a word we use. When successful entrepreneurs run into a challenge, we look for a solution. not an excuse.
When you catch yourself saying “Can't” simply acknowledge and change it. I will literally mutter the words “cancel that” and follow that with a positive phrase. For example; I may say “I can't do a video” but I would rapidly replace it with “I need to practice what I want to say and record it.” Everyone can do a video. All you need is a smart phone, your computer, or a camera. The real issue is overcoming our fears to do one and the best way to do that is to practice. Eliminate the word cannot and the contraction can't and replace it with positive action phrases. It may take a great deal of conscious effort in the beginning but if you keep at it, eventually you will eliminate it from your vocabulary and you will stop programming your subconscious with the negative influence.
Soon you will discover the truth, you can do anything you set your mind to do and believe you can do.